The Great Darren Meade tries to get a Date

The Great Meade tries to get a Date

 

Madame: Good evening sir, can I help you?

Meade: My name is Darren M Meade and I am the great Meade, investigative journalist, pastor, venture catalyst, CEO, rainmaker, brand whisperer, and God’s gift to women, the church and the businesses of America.

Meade: I am also a director, writer, entrepreneur, and former bodybuilding champion. I am the total package.

Madame: Can I help you sir?

Meade: I want to give one of your girls the pleasure of my company for a whole night.

Madame: Yes sir, tell me about your plans for your date.

Meade: Firstly, I will take her for a spin in my new Mercedes coupe and then we will dine at my multi million-dollar house at 9 Secret Cove Newport Coast, CA 92657.

Madame: Mr Meade, my friend is a real estate agent and I will have to check on your address for the safety of our girls.

Meade:  I may not be there while the house is having renovations but I am also the star of a movie:

Madame: Will you be requiring any extra services?

Meade: Well, of course she won’t be able to resist spending the night with me because I am so handsome, kind and charming.

Meade: I am a man of God, a pastor, and I would never speak ill of anyone:

Meade: I will take her to breakfast at the Sunset Tower where I regularly hold business meetings.

Meade: Don’t believe those GBH rape stories. Trevor was lying on this audio tape.  I am a victim of prosecutorial misconduct and they are all out to get me because I tried to help a friend, Ed Magedson, who was hurt because he was under investigation for criminal activities. Ed will give me a wonderfull reference and not just because I have the evidence to put him away for extortion, witness tampering and wire fraud.

Madame: What sort of girl did you have in mind sir?

Meade: Well she will have to be a supermodel in order to fit my image because I am the great Meade, investigative journalist, pastor, venture catalyst, CEO, rainmaker, brand whisperer, and God’s gift to women, the church, and the businesses of America.

Madame: I think you will like Tracey. She is has a fatal charm.

Meade: I will trust that you will provide me with only the best women because I am the great Meade, investigative journalist, pastor, venture catalyst, CEO, rainmaker, brand whisperer, and God’s gift to women, the church, and the businesses of America. I am also a Director, writer, Entrepreneur, and a former bodybuilding champion.

Madame: The charge will be $10,000 for the whole night.

Meade: I don’t think a man like myself, the great Meade, investigative journalist, pastor, venture catalyst, CEO, rainmaker, brand whisperer, and God’s gift to women, the church, and the businesses of America should have to pay.

Madame: I am sorry sir, but our girls are sought after by billionaires and royalty: They are top class.

Meade: Do you take Green Dot?

Madame: Laughing, oh sir, you are so funny.

Meade: Perhaps we can do a deal? Is there anyone that you would like to see have their reputation trashed on the Internet? I, the great Meade, am also a private defective, I mean private detective and I can destroy anyone in a week so that they will lose their jobs, businesses, friends and get thrown out of their homes. I have friends that actually pay me to help them out by destroying their enemies, or anyone who disparages their business models of extortion.

Meade: I will target your business clients for free on my employer’s website Ripoff Report and trash their name and business all over the Internet.  As a bonus I can even slip their wives some GHB so they won’t know when their husbands demand their conjugal rights.

Meade: I will do this work all for the price of a girl for the night, preferably one who likes to take naps, plus an upfront fee of $5,ooo.

Madame: No sir, I would never be that indiscreet. All my clients are valued and I would NEVER smear their name, tell their wives or hand them over to the police no matter how much I was offered.

Meade: Oh, ok. Well can I get back to you after I see a guy on Craigslist?

 

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